There are many things it would be nice to wake up to: the blackbird's vibrato on a cool spring morning; the warmth of a lover's breath on the back of your neck; the waft of freshly made croissants rising from the kitchen below as some loving wife manages to get her arse out of bed and suprise you with breakfast. These are nice things.
Cold, gel-coated finger up your bottom - not nice. Not nice at all.
Having had some wee bits of blood in last night's poo, and a very low platelet count, they decided to give me some additional platelets during the night. Precautionary, really, and no big deal. Took about 15 minutes and then promptly back off to sleep.
Was then awoken first thing by young doctor who wanted to "have a wee look", just to make sure I wasn't getting piles. This sort of thing has never happened to me sober before. Her professionalism was appreciated, though I suspect my attempts to put her at ease by saying things like, "no, that's ok, it's quite nice actually", had the opposite effect. I should also learn to make my involuntary groans sound less pleasure-laden.
Given the highly volatile state of my poop shoot just now, she was certainly taking a bit of a gamble by "facing the faucet" full on. Her finger waggling felt a wee bit like someone swooshing round the blocked plug hole of a kitchen sink full of dishwater. Just one baked bean standing between the whole lot and sudden release.
Anyway, morning all. Hope you've had your toast and tea.
I'm feeling pretty much grand - I'd say about 95%. Bit of a jippy tummy, but otherwise ok. I've got a bit of a sniffle, so probably picking up a cold or something.
This is Day+6, and
... I've been violated!
Oh dear - I now count myself very lucky indeed that my platelet count stayed above the gloved finger of anal invasion. My first four week visit to ward 16 back in July last year involved over three weeks of total constipation. This was a log of such giant proportions that even 16 (yes, SIXTEEN) sachets of Movicol per day would not budge it. I think they tried everything, and I remember when they brought the big enema gun out the nurse telling me that this will definitely get things moving (with an evil twinkle in her eye)... Nope, not this log jam, it stayed exactly where it was! It was two days later at three in the morning when nature, gravity and pressure finally overcame the snarl up and three and a half weeks of stored up hospital meals finally broke loose - the poor nurses and patients in the ward, the whole place stunk for several days but boy, what a relief!!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad things are going good!
Rory
Even for a "movement" obsessed weegie this is more information than any of us could have wished for, or deserved. May be that will teach you not to look after you "leap".
ReplyDelete...And after all that you were still looking for a bacon roll by 10 o'clock!
Dear me Joe, i havent been on the blog for a few days & what have i missed, nothing but jobby-stories. I thought it was only elderly female patients who became obsessed with their bowels!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, had a bit of an entertaining evening last night after Corri left. Took the dogs to the park, managed to lock myself out the flat then spent several hours getting to know the neighbours, who were very nice. Came away with a joint proposal for a research project!
Fraoch & Barra enjoyed their walk. i met a couple i know in Westburn park, Kenny is in the Aberdeen mountain rescue team. Anyway, he told me i was pronouncing 'fraoch' incorrectly - said it was 'froch'. well that had no effect on getting him to come back to me! (the dog that is not kenny).
i was going to head upstairs for a chocolate bar but am still gagging at Rory's last comment.....
By the way, no offence Rory, it was entertaining reading but has put me off choccy bars for the rest of the afternoon....
ReplyDeleteYou've just got to get a stronger stomach Julie! Growing up listening to my parents (a doctor & a nurse) discussing their work over the dinning table means that I can listen to most conversations while eating, with no effect on my appetite at all!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do admit, that another post describing the colour and texture of the ceiling tiles would make a nice change of subject..
I see that's only "the rest of the afternoon", Julie. Can't keep the old munchies at bay for long, can you?
ReplyDeleteHi big bro sent you a wee message but put it in Mondays instead of todays silly me talk to you soon luv you wee blisterxx
ReplyDeletekirsten, i'm just pretending to be put off chocolate. could join in with some jobby stories of my own but given that its a public site.....
ReplyDeleteBY THE WAY...Joe, I mention that Mandy, Liz & I were out cycling a few Saturdays ago & went over the Cairnamount road? (v steep) think have managed to drop it into the conversation a few times. Anyway, we stopped at the Clatterin Brig coffee shop & the Deeside Thistle cycle club were in having a coffee. We said hello & made polite chat.
Turns out we've been referred to on the Deeside Thistle blog as (get this)...."we met some fit female cyclists in the coffee shop"!!!
Now do they mean fit as in athletic or fit as in attractive young cyclists? Does it matter? i'm signing up with Deeside whatever...
meant to say joe, did i mention....
ReplyDeleteJulie,
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased for you, if that's what you want, but - and sorry for asking so directly - aren't you all lesbians?
I think the latest photographs from the Deeside Thistle website say it all:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hab3045/452889702/in/pool-611017@N23
Hi :)
ReplyDeleteI just had to say thank -you !!
I found your post on my first day on the forum... I have read whole blog and can I say its superb ,I have laughed and laughed at beginning bit.proper tummy laughs .
I so hope your next week continues and no more pidgeons befriend you,shall be thinking of you and sending good vibes and following the rest of your hospital stay :) if i may
So pleased its going well ,maybe I should move to Scotland bet my local hospitals not like that.
I was diagnosed on Tuesday and I'm ready for the challenge and feel quite calm but your blogs helped me lots
Thank -you and take care
Sue
Hi Sue,
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Really sorry to hear you've been diagnosed. Pish!
Please do keep reading and I hope it helps. You'll have ups and down, no doubt, but stay positive and determined and you will get through all you have to face.
Lots of love
Joe